The art of killing conversation, why I am not a feminist.
Socratic conversation is dead, snowed out by all the snowflakes crushed daily by the patriarchy. Piled up, blocking access to deep altering conversation, turning the world into a nuclear winter where people act cold and reactionary and even more troublesome, violently offended.
When people erase facts, they enter the land of fantasy but it’s not like Game of Thrones and there are no Dragons or hot Dothrakis. There is a land where science is no longer theoretically based on data but a belief, and the most important agenda is to not offend. Oh, and let’s not forget about being divisively politically correct. Sometimes monsters wear pretty bows.
But this isn’t burning man, we cannot constantly decontextualize ideologies from real lived experiences, they operate like the tertiary fold of a molecule, building back on one another weaving the fabrics of everyday experiences. In other words, this shit is nuanced as fuck.
Of course, I am all for equality. But you can take your virtual signaling somewhere else, thankyouverymuch.
I thought being a feminist was about the empowerment of women. Instead, I find feminism to be about the empowerment of women to make them the same as men. I find feminism practicing an erasure of womanhood and a historical hyper focus on middle-class hetero white women well beyond problematic.
The feminist movement is becoming increasingly totalitarianistic, it’s an echo-chamber and as a woman, if you have a different opinion you are called all kinds of derogatory labels. I have studied sex and gender. I stalked the UC Berkeley campus in my free time looking for Judith Butler. I never found her but admittedly I didn’t look in the post structuralist part of the library.
I was called a TERF because I did not jump on the bandwagon to cancel someone with an opinion. A fucking opinion. And because I didn’t trash said human, the conclusion was, I agreed with everything she had ever said from time immemorial. I know this is shocking, but people are complex. They fucking contradict themselves all the time. They fuck up, they make mistakes. They say shit out of a knee jerk reaction stemming from unexamined emotion or an ignorant position. Once again, this is not a license to be a dick. Don’t spew derogatory hate at people.
Growing as a human isn’t this magical fairy-tale land where little butterflies kiss you on the cheek when you have a little introspect. Growing is work. It’s self-examination. It’s the admission of a misstep or falter. It’s taking the time to read and educate yourself. The reality is, not everyone is interested in this endeavor.
What is missing in these feminist echo-chambers is the ability to have a Socratic conversation with someone, to be open to learn other ways of seeing the world. Just because something comes out of someone’s mouth does not mean you have to agree with it. If you don’t give people the space to grow, they inevitably will not.
Women take on an unbelievable amount of work and burden. I am not suggesting here women are destined for a life of domesticity. However, the reality is, females grow and birth the babies. The value of raising children and domestic labor is highly overlooked and underpaid, there is work to be done there. But, feminism doesn’t give a fuck about motherhood.
I see more and more women leaving the feminist movement because the sacredness of womanhood is violated, I am speaking to the power that makes women. The archetype of the warrior life giver, the path of which is different for every woman, but the respect is all the same. There is more than one way to be a woman, but we are all still women. Losing commonality is how power divides and then conquers from the inside out.
Let’s not alter reality to such a degree it becomes fantasy. The idea that every part of womanhood is going to include every woman all the time is not feasible, nor is it a negative or inherently bad thing. My experience as a white woman doesn’t fit or belong in all spaces with all intersectionalities. This ideology of hyper inclusivity is having the opposite intended effect by keeping people bickering within their own identities. This nicety default is literally undoing the work feminism in front of our woke eyes.
The question then becomes who is willing to hold down and out for the reinstallation of sacredness back into the art of conversation? Am I my sister’s keeper?